(no subject)

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying wakes up.

It is still entirely unexpected. Even more unexpected to wake without his hands bound, on a comfortable bed, his head on a soft pillow, feeling clean and... safe?

Considering one of the last memories he can dredge up from the last time he was awake involved Jiang Cheng yelling and the lightning-sharp pain of Zidian, this is quite the accomplishment.

Some of that is explained when it suddenly clicks that the guqin music he can hear is a particular tune - one that he still doesn't know the name of.

It's... overwhelming. He's still so tired - thankfully not the soul-crushing exhaustion that chased him over a cliff, but a sort of grumbling fretting that there's still more things to do, even though he just did things. Though, thinking about it, he probably didn't just do anything other than sleep - he doesn't remember moving from Dafan Mountain to Gusu, and he's been still long enough that the sting from Zidian is now a distant ache. He's still reeling from accidentally horribly offending the only nephew he has, and nearly being killed by the only sibling he has. He has no doubt that nearly twice over now Jiang Cheng would have happily ended him. That's... that's something he's going to put aside for a moment. Because there's also the absolutely shattering sight of Wen Ning, still unburnt and fighting, to think about. He was told Wen Ning was dead.

Well of course Wen Ning is dead, he's been a fierce corpse for quite some time. But he's supposed to be so many ashes on the wind, unable to be buried, definitely never properly mourned, destroyed in the the Jin's quest for vengeance. Who else is alive? Wen Qing? Shijie?

(Blood, far too much blood, the light dying in her eyes, her lovely face going slack, held tight in Jiang Cheng's desperate embrace.)

Not shijie.

And then...

Then there's Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan... was he trying to stop him? Trying to stop this young cultivator who was going down a path proven to lead to disaster? Stopping him poorly, and then defending him, so... That's...

Odd?

Kind of sweet?

Weirdly... Sweetly... odd?

He musters up the wherewithal to turn his head to look, and is entirely unsurprised to see Lan Zhan behind the guqin, masterful as ever. The man is gorgeous, somehow even more beautiful after years, something Wei Ying would have declared impossible all of those years ago.

If a few tears have escaped because of how very much this all is... can anyone blame him?

Can anyone blame him if there's a pang of panic when he realizes that the object settled in his field of view is the mask he definitely remembers being firmly on his new face when he collapsed?

Comments

[alongfallfromgrace]

Two cups - he's been spotted, then. He did start to wonder, if maybe he could feign sleep until Lan Zhan was called away on one thing or another. Surely the younger Twin Jade would have many more important things to do than watch over some unknown man from a lesser sect. He then has a long debate with himself over whether he should put the mask back on. It's serving a purpose - he's afraid that by some look, some expression, he'll give himself away. He can't imagine the world (besides his rather tortured benefactor) wants him any less dead. But putting the mask back on at this point will just emphasize the secret he's trying to keep, and the Lan Zhan he remembers is no intellectual slouch. Point out there's a mystery here, and not just a young man with a fondness for masks, and he'll just hasten his own discovery.

Shit.

Is just running a valid option? Surely no one expects him to be brave anymore.

(Running is not an option, the boy who had this body woefully undertrained it, Wei Ying wants to find all of this lad's instructors and bawl them out for poor effort. Being a Jin is no excuse.)

Still. He has to make a decision here, or one will be forced upon him. In his debate on how to avoid giving himself away, he further gives himself away with an unconscious, fidgety nose-flick as he ponders.

He can always resort to the 'crazy' angle if needed, he decides. The juniors have seen his tantrums on full display (and what fun that had been!), so they can support that he's just... like that. If needed. But Wei Ying is a weak man, and finds that he cannot bring himself to deny the pleasure of having tea with Lan Zhan. Just the once. One nice little memory to start off this new life. He's already made so many bad ones.

Carefully, slowly, he hitches himself up. Zidian hasn't become any less wicked since he's been gone, he notes, and Jiang Cheng's aim has only improved.

[thesecondjade]

Two cups, and soon hot tea. Lan Zhan waits for the still-stiff man to come to him -- he knows Zidian's kiss is rough, as this is not the first time Jiang Wanyin's cruelty has been displayed. The life he's lead has wrung most of the kindness out of him.

"Please sit," he says, gesturing across the table.

Lan Zhan is older now, but still the man he remembers. Maybe there's a little less tightness around his eyes, but he is still as placid as a winter pond with eyes like gold coins.

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying is fairly certain this young man he's pretending to be was never friends with any of the Lan clan, never mind one of the Twin Jades. That helps - less personal history to trip over. He knows the boy trained (for a given value of the word) in Lanling. He knows that somehow the boy got his hands on notes on demonic cultivation (which should have never happened, what the hell is going on around here). He knows the boy was desperately miserable.

He remembers that feeling.

How would this boy react to being served tea by such a notable man?

Ugh. It was so much easier being dead.

Carefully he rises, shuffling over to fold himself in a somewhat proper posture.

"You show this one too much kindness, such an important man serving tea." He murmurs, trying to figure out a way out of this mess.

[thesecondjade]

"I show the correct amount of kindness," Lan Zhan says, as he settles back, watching 'Mo Xuanyu,' "due to someone of long acquaintance."

Lan Zhan stopped presuming they were friends a long time ago. He knows that's half his fault -- he wasn't open, he wasn't clear, he expected to be understood without effort. That was his mistake, his failures as a friend. But he wasn't the only one in that equation, either.

The love never faded, but his view became more realistic when he had nothing to do for three years but meditate on all the ways he did not rise to the challenge in their lives.

[alongfallfromgrace]

Long acquaintance? What long acquaintance? How could this kid have any sort of acquaintance with Lan Zhan and not be known to the juniors?

...

Unless...

There's a memory of a sort-of fight, a crushing realization come far to late. Lan Zhan surely hasn't been courting Mo Xuanyu - not only would that have definitely put him on the baby Lans' list of 'people to know', the kid would have had someone in his corner, and wouldn't have to call on the Yiling Patriarch of all people. But maybe if Mo Xuanyu had figured it out, somehow, had been making a fool of himself... maybe? Still seems far-fetched that Lan Zhan would take so much care of a pest, but Lan Zhan is the best, after all.

"Oo-oooh, yes," He stumbles, as he races through this somewhat twisted logic. "Of course. Long acquaintance."

Shit.

Mo Xuanyu, why couldn't you have left some notes, you little idiot?

[thesecondjade]

Tea served, Lan Zhan sits back and gestures for 'Mo Xuanyu' to drink.

"It isn't your favorite, but it is what we have," he says, as he takes his cup in hand. His gaze is steady, and those his face remains as still as Cloud Recesses' ice, his eyes are that much more intense. Yes. Long acquaintance.

"Much has changed while you were gone," he says once the first drink is taken.

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying is going to call this little brat back from whatever corner of the afterlife he crawled off to and kick his ass. He is floundering here.

"Oh, ahhh... can this one ask how so?" He asks, hazarding a coy smile before retreating behind his sleeve to sip his tea.

[thesecondjade]

"Jin Guangyao now leads the Jin Sect, and has made over-all positive changes as Chief Cultivator with his watchtower project. Zenigata-qianbei was something of an advisor for it," Lan Zhan says, as he contemplates the exquisitely pale tea in his cup. "The Red Blade Master is dead. Qi deviation."

He sips his tea again, and only then does he look at 'Mo Xuanyu' to gauge his reaction.

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying has frozen, caught off guard by the unexpected shot, the unexpected hurt. The tea in his cup shivers, held by an unsteady hand.

Jin Guangyao as Chief Cultivator? He can hardly imagine it. Logical, but... unexpected.

Nie Mingue dying is less expected, a horrible death for an honorable man. (He cannot forget that face, stern and furious, calling for his death. Perhaps expected, but still a blow.)

The mention of Zenigata gets between his ribs, stops his breath. That man who gave so freely, who thought better of him than he deserved. The man he knows he has hurt, even if it was unintentional.

The man who would never be mentioned to Mo Xuanyu.

[thesecondjade]

"I am sure Zenigata-qianbei would be glad to see you," he said, refusing to relent. He will not let this lie persist, he will not take part of it. "There was a funeral service. Your names and stones were not forgotten."

He swallows down the last of his tea. "Do you want to go there, to the people who love you? To rest, before we go forward to discover the truth behind your return?"

Lan Zhan's eyes search that unfamiliar face, and everything else he might say is trapped behind his teeth. To do the things that matter, I will take you to the people you do love. Then we can go forward, without regret, and solve this mystery.

[alongfallfromgrace]

"..." Wei Ying swallows heavily, overwhelmed - by the sudden sense of exposure, by the reminder of loss, by the unexpected knowledge that he was mourned.

He wasn't expecting that. If anything, he was expecting celebrations.

Those probably happened too, let's all be honest.

"Lan Zhan." He surrenders the facade, knowing it is irrevocably shattered. He doesn't know how, but... it is. In its place is is sense of being out to sea with all of this. He has been on the go since he woke up, an he's been entirely making it up as he goes along. "Lan Zhan I.. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

[thesecondjade]

"I understand," Lan Zhan says, and he means it sincerely, even if he doesn't put the emotion behind it that Wei Ying does. There's a great deal to say, a lot of explaining. But none of it comes out. Lan Zhan is more honest, yes, but still taciturn. The added difficulty of weighing each word before it's spoken to make sure it reveals only so much and not everything slows him down even further.

"We do not have much time here before we must make haste," he says after a time measured in aching heartbeats. "The Bar will give you space to recover yourself. Time not measured by a curse. I will take you there, when you are ready."

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying shows how flustered he is, immediately grabbing for the wound that is entirely failing to heal on his arm. He knew intellectually that he'd been cleaned up, the dirt of the road nothing but a distant memory. Lan Zhan knowing about his wounds without being told is... something else entirely. It occurs to him, with a disorienting lurch, that Lan Zhan probably knows more about this body than he does.

[thesecondjade]

Not nearly so much as he thinks. Lan Zhan would be happy to be further acquainted, if he thought there was the most remote chance of reciprocation. But since he long ago accepted there was none, he only moves to reassure.

"No liberties were taken," Lan Zhan assures him quietly. No, your gross gay ex-friend did not do anything untoward. "But your curse-wounds were made clear when you needed to be treated for your injuries."

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying startles, looking up from where his sleeve is hiding the raw slice that hasn't even pretended to heal the last few days. He's... so confused.

"Liberties?" He asks, puzzled. What liberties? Oh.

Oh no.

His hand flattens over chest, over where that gaping ache has been the last few years, a howling frozen void where...

Where his golden core...

Wei Ying's expression blanks out in shock.

He has a golden core. There it is - weak, certainly, barely trained, but...

...

He has a golden core.

[thesecondjade]

Tilting his head slightly, Lan Zhan watches go through various stages of panic, confusion, and something like joy? He's not sure what that emotion is on Wei Ying's (new) face, but it's definitely something. So he waits, and observes.

[alongfallfromgrace]

He wants to cry. He knows his life wasn't over when he gave up his core, that he succeeded despite the odds against him for... well, honestly, longer than he should have. Not as long as he wanted, an it came crashing down painfully in the end, but given another set of circumstances, he could have lived without his core.

But he's so shatteringly happy to feel whole again. He doesn't realize he's crying until tears splatter onto the table.

"Lan Zhan, ah, I..." He tries to apologize, not meaning to come apart, seemingly unable to stop.

[thesecondjade]

Lan Zhan rises in one fluid motion, to go to one small shelf and pick up a small folded square -- a silk kerchief. He offers it wordlessly, making no move to chide or dismiss Wei Ying, but instead, trying to be gentle with.

"As I said," he tells him, "much has changed. You will need time."

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying desperately wants a hug, but doesn't know how to ask, doesn't know if it'd cause Lan Zhan to finally lose patience. He can't imagine little Lans asking for hugs.

"Lan Zhan," He manages somewhat desperately, once he's managed to wrest control back over his own rampaging emotions, "Lan Zhan, I'm not possessing him, Mo Xuanyu, I promise, I wouldn't, not ever."

He needs Lan Zhan to know that whatever else has been laid at his feet over the years, that is still beyond him.

[thesecondjade]

At least one young Lan gets hugs anytime he wants.

"I know," Lan Zhan says, and resumes his seat. He flips his sleeves back with a carelessly graceful gesture. "I believe Wei Ying."

[alongfallfromgrace]

...






Oh.


Well.

That's.






That's a thing.

How many times has he ever heard that?




Let's think about something else.

"You made us memorial stones?"

[thesecondjade]

"Yes," Lan Zhan says, staying concise. "Abe no Seimei and Zenigata-qianbei held the rites. Apparently, Zenigata-qianbei had a stint as a monk."

Which is weird, but the big man seems to have a varied life experience. Lan Zhan can't judge.

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying fiddles with his teacup, struggling with the idea of someone mourning his death. Obviously they did, it happened. Mourning the last remnants of the Wens, that he understands - they were good people, who didn't deserve their end. But he didn't have to be included. He could have been written off, an example of what happens when you delve into things left better alone.

They had nothing to prove to him, he was gone. And yet.

And yet.

"I've hurt him, Zenigata-quianbei. He thought he could save me, I think." He admits, to another person he unknowingly hurt.

[thesecondjade]

"I cannot speak to the working of Zenigata-qianbei's heart," Lan Zhan says, watching Wei Ying with his coin-glint eyes. "But I can say for certain that he, like the others, will welcome you back. You were missed, Wei Ying, and your loss left a gap that cannot be overlooked."

At home and abroad, there were people who grieved. Lan Zhan doesn't speak of his own torments -- or what they drove him to do -- but he has carried that lonely weight for over a decade now, and it is not so heavy as it once was.

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying wants to be reassured, but no one else who has spoken his name has been exactly longing for his return. Still, that isn't Lan Zhan's problem, right? And Lan Zhan has protected him, against a Sect Leader no less.

(His shidie is a proper sect leader, he's grown so much)

He forces his shoulders back, smiling in an attempt to show that he's fine, he is, look, it'll be okay. He'll be okay.

"Be prepared for a lot of yelling. Zenigata-quianbei should have been a Jiang."

[thesecondjade]

Lan Zhan remembers; he remembers Zengiata's broken sobs, he remembers Zenigata's kindness with his son. He remembers the man just fine, because Zenigata is loud enough to make sure you never forget him. Lan Zhan kept far from him -- between the noise and the connection to Wei Wuxian, the man was something he just couldn't take very long. Still, he will help when called upon, and Lan Zhan trusts him for that.

"I know," is all he says.

[alongfallfromgrace]

The tight edges of his smile soften when he looks at Lan Zhan. This gorgeous man, a paragon of virtue, still somehow has chosen to side with him. Wei Ying doesn't deserve it, he knows that.

"I'm afraid this one will be an imposition."

[thesecondjade]

"Wei Ying will not," Lan Zhan says, as he drinks in that smile like a man who didn't realize he still had thirst to slake. "I have been and will always be your friend, Wei Ying."

There will never be a time or space when his friendship is not freely given. Not when it comes to Wei Ying.

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying's composure wavers again, he... he doesn't deserve this.

He doesn't. Lan Zhan deserves the best. He... isn't.

His hand absent-mindedly splays across his chest again, reaching for the reassurance that his core hasn't somehow disappeared, that he doesn't have to hold himself at a remove anymore.

"Lan Zhan..." He doesn't deserve it. But... he wants. He has already had a taste of facing the world alone, and it's horrible. "Zhiji?" He keeps his gaze down, not wanting to see the moment of refusal, if it comes. If he tells himself. Not so certain as when. If.

[thesecondjade]

With his eyes down, he can't see the peaceful smile that crosses over Lan Zhan's face; the years without have gotten slightly easier to bear. The past is past, but the now promises hope for the future. A future with Wei Ying somewhere in it. All they need to do is solve a mystery and end a curse.

Lan Zhan has every confidence they'll be able to do that. Then, Wei Ying will be free to retake his life and live how he should have.

"Zhiji," he says, before the smile slips away, returning him to his stoic neutrality.

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying tells himself, firmly, that he isn't going to cry.

He isn't, he's fine.

So when he lifts his head to grin at Lan Zhan, that's important to remember.

Definitely not crying.

It's just raining indoors.

Just on his face.

Very small rainstorm.

[thesecondjade]

Tears wrung out of him years ago, Lan Zhan just favors Wei Ying with a brief smile.

"I will prepare for our time there," he says, and rises to give Wei Ying to feel his feelings without being stared at or discomfited. Lan Zhan knows he is not the most expressive soul, and his presence may make things awkward or worse. He can be put to better use in making good things happen, instead of comfort.

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying seizes that 'our' and holds it close. He knows he can function on his own, he managed decently well the few days he had on the road before stumbling into a horrible disaster of a situation.

But it's better, not being alone. Alone tastes like gravedirt and echoes like an abandoned settlement. He accepts that stealing a cuddle from Lan Zhan is not a likely scenario in this moment, so he retreats behind his tea cup and lets himself stew in his feelings for a little while.

"Lan Zhan?" He calls after a moment, once he has his mental feet back under him and his emotions back in check. "Your juniors are such good children, very adorable."

[thesecondjade]

Lan Zhan goes still for a moment, silent and thoughtful. He looks down at the items he is starting to pack into qiankun bag, and then nods, and looks away.

It's Wen Yuan, Wei Ying. Wen Yuan, safe and grown. He is my son, but he has your heart, your smile. He can be kind and warm. He has many friends, he is well liked, people look to him. I made space for him, I made space for Lan Jingyi, I made space for all of them in a Sect that would have silenced us. He is our future, Wei Ying, and he was your last gift to me.

"They are good students," he says aloud, saying so little but meaning so much. "And they will become great Cultivators in their generation."

[alongfallfromgrace]

"They are certainly very talented, though a bit forgetful." Wei Ying is going to have to rag on them a bit more for forgetting flares, if he gets the chance - they all got spectacularly lucky to not end up smushed by a rogue statue.

"Saw they were carrying some interesting flags."

[thesecondjade]

Still denying Wei Ying his gaze, Lan Zhan continues to pack essentials. He does not tense, he does not flinch. He just packs.

"Curriculum is left to the teachers," he says, as he folds clothing up. "Why throw away useful lessons because the Sect is too afraid to see it's value?"

[alongfallfromgrace]

'The Fuck' says Wei Ying's expression, eloquently. What weird alternate reality did he wake up in?

"Useful." Wei Ying chokes out, sounding poleaxed.

Please cast your votes as to how often he's heard that particular appellation applied to his work, especially after he left the accepted path.

[thesecondjade]

The one where Lan Zhan woke up and found himself at a serious fucks deficit.

"They would have worked," he said, finally glancing over his shoulder, "without the the Mo Clan's interference. The juniors would have handled it. But there were other forces at play besides Mo family greed."

Not that he can be upset now. Mo Xuanyu is now Wei Ying. Lan Zhan has zhiji alive, once more.

[alongfallfromgrace]

"Well, the range on them was a bit... much." Wei Ying points out, scrunching his nose. "It's a bit of a miracle they didn't have more trouble than they did. But I don't think that the sword is connected to... well. This." He gestures to this body he's still trying to get used to.

[thesecondjade]

"They may have misjudged the area of affect," Lan Zhan admits, because children do that. "But I was close and I was watching."

He would never leave his children to fight alone. They are his most precious people, and he has nurtured all of them into the cultivators they are today. Even outside of Lan Sizhui, or even Lan Jingyi (his favorite student, if he should be so callous as to say he has favorite) they are all important people to him.

[alongfallfromgrace]

"Too close! I would have had it under control in... well. Soon." Wei Ying huffs, but there's a grin under there. "They look up to you, you know. They were so determined to make you proud."

[thesecondjade]

"They make me proud every day," Lan Zhan says, not hiding his thoughts or his feelings. From now on, everyone needs to know where he stands on people. None of the past denials. They respect him. He's proud of them. This is how it should be. It isn't unnecessary praise, they aren't tuft-hunting. He knows what they've accomplished, and how hard they worked to do so.

They're his juniors, dammit, and he cherishes each one of them.

[alongfallfromgrace]

Things certainly have changed since he died, Wei Ying decides, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Clearly it's been good for these little juniors to get some actual verbal encouragement.

"Careful now," He teases anyway, because there's been quite enough Feelings for one conversation, he doesn't have enough face to start crying again. "Your uncle will have a qi deviation if he hears such things."

[thesecondjade]

"He would have to listen to hear," Lan Zhan says; anything more would be unfilial, so he lets his mild criticism of his uncle stay there. No need to let the bitterness turn his tongue caustic.

Now he comes back, with two white qiankun bags. He extends one to Wei Ying, and then says, "the Bar can provide you suitable clothing to your taste, but I have packed what I can here."

Since he's certain that Wei Ying does not want to go about in Lan white and blue.

[alongfallfromgrace]

Wei Ying takes the bag, smiling ruefully. Of course no one with sense would want to see him in Gusu Lan colors.

"Thank you - I'm afraid Mo Xuanyu didn't think to leave a handy store of provisions."

[thesecondjade]

"Mn," is all Lan Zhan can say to that. He's still unsure how Mo Xuanyu even got that information. After all, there's only one person he knows who has extensive copies of the Yiling Patriarch's work: himself.

"Is there anything else you might need?" he asks.

[alongfallfromgrace]

Anything he might ask for would be in incredibly poor taste (has anyone seen Chenqing?), ill advised (do you think I could call for Wen Ning?) or plain impossible (I don't suppose you know who has Suibian?). Besides, he doesn't need anything at the moment. He grins up (he's not so sure how much he likes Mo Xuanyu's relative shortness, this is going to take a lot of getting used to) at Lan Zhan, and shrugs.

"What else could I possibly need? You're here, after all."

[thesecondjade]

Answering only with hi brief smirk and a soft puff of breath that might be a silent laugh, he turns, answering only, "Whatever."

He leave the jingshi behind, closing up the doors behind him, and leads Wei Ying through the woods, to where the bamboo bends a certain way, and where you pass through it to find a 'door' in the wood.